Update 21/12/09

Hey guys, im not sure if anyone actually looks at these or not, anyway my computer recently had to be restored to factory default and before i did that i forgot to save all of my KHAS on another source (i feel like such a tard). Recently i have started to get allot of assignments for my course at college and i dont think i will be able to handle remaking all the KHAS stuff i made from scratch at the moment. So im giving up on this for now but i may return to it sometime in the future, i hope i do because i had some great ideas for the final part, its just getting there that was the problem :L. So there you have it, not sure when/if ill get back to this but until then peace out .
KHPandaZ

KHAS (Kingdom Hearts Abridged Series) Episode 4 Part 2

Kingdom hearts Abridged Script Ep 4 pt 2 (name to be confirmed) Traverse Town 1


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[Opening]
[black screen, sora about to wake]
Yuffie[during black screen]: wakey wakey, hands off snakey
[sora shakes head, then sees kairi]
Yuffie/kairi: Ok now?
Sora: yah
Yuffie/kairi: Those things that attacked you are after your heartbecause it allows you to wield the keyblade
Sora: yea thats great but i though you died and whent all zombie kairi
Yuffie/kairi: Who the hells kairi, i am the great ninja yuffie,
Sora: someone thinks a bit too highly of themselves.
[yuffie changes into herself. Then she looks away]
Yuffie: Squal, you didnt beat the arrogance out of him yet. do a better job next time.
Leon: jagshemash, my namea leon,you dumb bitch.
Yuffie: we took your keyblade from you so that the heartless couldnt fins your heart as easy.
Sora: that makes about as much sense as a panda in a fighting game.
Yuffie: well this was made in japan
Sora: stupid japan with its kick ass anime and games with plots that mak no sense.
Leon: Shut up about japanese things jew-boy, but why did the keyblade choose you?
[keyblade teleports to sora]
Sora: So whats going on, who are you guys?
Leon: We are from another world and she is my sister, she is number 2 prostitute, in all of Hollow Bastion
Sora: thats pretty sweet but whos the first?
[screen changes to aerith]
Aerith: So... Donald, Goofy, i come from a place called Hollow Bastion, where i was the number one prostitute.
Donald: Was it necessary to know that.
Aerith: of course. Anyway, you know that all the worlds are secret from each other right?
Goofy: Of course
Aerith: good that saves me explaining it too you sweet, animal, people, things.
Aerith: It seems that changed when the heartless came
[changes back to Sora, Leon and Yuffies conv]
Sora: What the hell are heartless?
Yuffie: hmn, i dont maybe the things that have been after your HEART. geez, the keyblade had to pick the most retarded person alive didnt it?
Sora: Man shes as much of an angry bitch as sakura in the first few eps of naruto.
Leon: anyway the darkness in someones heart attracts the heartless, and darkness is within everyones heart.
Sora: Even within link's?, because hes the hero of time
Leon: Especially within link's, havent you ever seen adamwestslapdogs' legend of zelda abridged series?, he does allot of dark and evil things.
Yuffie: So dousche bag, ever heard of this old dude called Ansem?
[D,G and A's Conv]
Goofy: Ansem?
Aerith: Yeah, he was a great scientist who studied the heartless, and possibly made them, but thats not important right now.
Donald: But if he made them, then isnt he evil and that would surely be an important discussion right now.
Aerith[demonic voice] I said that it wasnt important right now
Donald[worried]: okay, we believe you
Aerith[sweet voice]: so, ansem recorded his findings in a detailed report.
Goofy: Can we see this report?
Aerith: well i would let you sweetie, but the pages were scattered across the worlds.
Donald: But if he lived on Hollow Bastion with you and the worlds were secret from each other how did they get to other worlds?
Aerith: Well, for wrighters convenience, cutey pie.
Goofy: Maybe our king went to look for these pages, that would be convenient aswell.
Aerith: thats what i thought.
Goofy: Then we shall go look for him.
Donald: Wait just one minute, we need to find the Key first.
Aerith: Yes, the keyblade.
[back to S,L and Y's conv]
Sora: ohhhh, so this is the key.
Yuffie: Finally, he gets it.
Leon: The heartless, fear the keyblade like a jew, and that is why they will keep coming for you.
Sora: that makes perfect sense. Man i wish i didnt have this key now.
Yuffie: Haha but the keyblade chooses its master so your out of luck.
Sora: How did this happen, i remember i was in my room but what happend to my home, my island, Riku, Kairi.
Leon: how the hell should i know?
Yuffie: and why didnt you mention the Final fantasy charicters from your island, like tidus, or selphie, or that guy with ball.
Leon: You mean wakka
Yuffie: Who cares about wakka?, the point here is that Sora is racist to us final fantasy charicters.
[heartless appears]
Leon: Yuffie go
[To Be Continued Screen]
Narrator: Zomg a heartless has appeared, how will our hero get through this challenge, find out next time on. KHAS

KHAS (Kingdom Hearts Abridged Series) Ep 4 Part 1 Script

[goofy looking at sky]

Goofy: Donald my muscles are sensing a star going out

[star goes out]

Donald: but wait doesnt that mean that a planet and all of its inhabitants have all just dissapeared from existance?

Goofy: My muscles think so

Donald: well thats kid of evil for a kids game isnt it?

Goofy: But donald this game is made by Disney

Donald: Good point.

[opening]

Narrator: Now that our comic relief moment is over, we return to our story

[shows pluto licking sora]

Narrator: Well, i wonder whats been going on here, giggety

[sora wakes up]

Sora: man, waking up next to a dog licking my face is never good. Where am i anyway?

[talks to pluto]

Sora: Hey its scooby doo.

[runs away]

Sora: I must have offended him.

[Sora walks out of door]

Leon(borat impression): jagshemash,

Sora: Dear god, what the hell was that

Leon: They will keep coming at you while you hold the key, but you are a jew so i need to take it from you.

Sora: Like hell you will

[Fight scene sped up]

Sora(Exhausted): Hell yea, im the greatest

[sora collapses]

Yuffie: Aw leon, took you a while didnt it?

Leon: He wasnt as jewish as he first seemed.

[fades out]

[shows goofy and donald]

Goofy: Donald, what are we doing here, you forgot to tell me in episode one.

Donald: I didnt forget, kh panda z was too lazy to write it in.

Goofy: Well my muscles command him to tell us now

[pauses screen with a screeching stop sound]

Me: ok fine, you two are in traverse town to find a man named leon,he will then lead you to a wielder of a keyblade

Goofy: But that is not funny

Me: Well thats why i didnt write it in there

Goofy: my muscles will kill you for that

[sfx of hitting]

[to be continued screen]

[another screeching sound]

Donald: oh hell no, we are not finishing now, this is the first episode that is actually relevant to the story, so finish it properley

me: Fine

[replays from where it stopped earlier]

[aeris touches donald's shoulder]

Donald(little girls scream): ahhhhhhhhh

Aeris: Hey little girl, did the king send you?

["To be continued for reals this time :D"]

Donald[over the tbcscreen]: Yea thats more like it.

KHAS Episode 3 Script

[black screen]

Narrator: and so we return to our hero doing yet abother thrilling task.

[fades into soras room]
Narrator: Whats that hes only resting, but thats very dull, something better  happen soon or i quit.

Sora(in head): Damn why doesnt she like me

[turns over to look at hanging boat]
Sora(in head): oh well at least i got that voodoo doll back from riku, and i stole the one he made of kairi as well , im like a ninja.
[sees storm]
Sora(outside of head): oh shit a storm, i left my Dragonball Manga on the beach, they're my only reason for living.
[pan across sora's room]
Sora's mum(voiced by ed maybe): mummys drunken night mistake... its dinner time, get down here before mummy gets angry, you dont like me when im angry.
[Sora sees the ball in the sky]
Sora: What the hell is that?
[sora sees heartless appear from the ground]
[pans too his face and freezes at his reaction]
Sora (in head): I really should quit the meth before bed, its really not good for me
[shows sora running towards riku]
Sora (outside head): Oh my god, riku have you seen those, those things.
Sora: oh and wheres the love of my life

Riku: i dont spend my spare time looking for ho's
Sora: shes not a ho, shes the sweetest person i know
Riku: well screw you too
[riku looking at the ball in the sky]
Riku: oh crap back too the plot, once we step through this portal we might not be able too come back. however theres no turning back. join me sora and we shall rule this galaxy as father and son
Sora: Dude what the hell
[black circle surrounds riku]
Riku: ohh this stuff carressing me feels good, you have some.
Sora: dont worry riku ill pull you out.
[shows hands reaching for each other]
[sora engulfed]

Sora(in head): god dammit, now im stuck in darkness, with no way of esca... [flash]
[sees light]
Sora(in head): if ive learnt anything from tv its that i should always follow the light
[looks at the keyblade]

Sora(quickly): holy crap its a giant key
[all the keyblade signs with different voices each time]
Sora: Haha all doors shall fear me, now time too go check out that cave for no reason.

[sora runs into cave]
Sora: hotness
[kairi turns too him]
Kauri: Sora
[freeze on sora's reaction]
Sora: yes! you finally learnt my name after all these years, its no longer "stupid", or "retard"
[kairi flys at him]

Sora: ooh she wants too hug me how sweet
[grasps at air]
Sora(as he flys backwards): Damn you Nomura (fading out)
[sora hits the floor]
Sora(in head): Man this dream just keeps on getting weirder and weirder
[turns around and sees that shadow]
Sora: oh come on how am i supposed to defeat this thing, ive had the keyblade for like, what a minute.
[show some battle footage]
Sora (while in battle): now what did my mummy say about killing huge shadows
[flashback too soras room]
Soras mum: Now remember sora, if your ever attacked by your shadow, attack the hands, without his hand the shadow will have no true friend.
[back too battle footage]
{show sora hitting its hand}
Sora: Hand attack no-justsu
Shadow monster(geeky voice): Nooooooo my one true friend.
[fades into ball in the sky]
[sora hanging onto the wood]
Sora: man if i ever see her again i have too thank my mum for her advice,
[lets go]
Sora: but it looks like im going to die now. good bye bitches (fades out)

To Be Continued...

KHAS (Kingdom Hearts Abridged Series) ep 2script

[start before race scene]
Riku: so sora wanna make this race more interesting.
Sora: sure Even though im only 14 its good to get in the habbit of Gambling while your young.
Sora: so Riku what do you want if you win?
Riku: Your Body
Sora: Dude your really begining to freak me out, what else do you want?
Riku: your favorite CD, childrens nursery rhymes performed by Rotting animal carcass
sora: ok deal, and if I win i want that voodoo doll that you made of me.
Sora: im getting tired of fearing what you could do to me with it.
Riku: ok lets race
[opening]
Narrator: and now we will forget that ever happened because the creator is too lazy too make a scene where someone wins
[wakka and sora talking]
Wakka[jamaican accent]:yo man, i got bad news the cops found the meth lab in ya basement, ya shud go hide in dat dere cave man
Sora: thanks man you always got my back peace
Wakka: peace man
[sora is in the cave]
Sora{in mind}: oh man, oh man, im not gonna last long in jail look at me.
[he sees the drawing of kairi and him]
Sora{in mind}: oh well time for a back story.
[flash back of him and kairi drawing]
Kairi: that sucks, it looks like me, now i wont let you draw a paopu fruit with it until your 14.
Sora[higher pitch]: but when im 14 i wont like drawing on the wall, it will be pathetic,
Kairi: of course but you are a pathetic loser.
Sora{in mind}: oh ye shes into me.
[goes back to him being 14 drawing on the wall]
Sora: wow this is pathetic, i hope some guy in a cloak isnt watching behind me.
Guy in cloak: did you say guy in cloak
Sora: oh god its the feds, im innocent i tells ye,
Guy in cloak: {elongated} ooooookay, but im not the police im just hear to see the door to this world.
Sora: well i dont know what that is so can you just go away and not return until Kingdom hearts two.
Guy in cloak: this world has been connected.
Sora: your not listening to me are you?
Guy in cloak: Tied to the darkness, soon to be totally eclipsed,
Sora: just shut up and leave please.
Guy in cloak: you do not yet know what lies beyond that door.
Sora: okay thats enough plot related points now, y you can go now.
guy in cloak: there is so very much to learn, you understand so little.
Sora: are you calling me stupid?
Guy in cloak: one who knows nothing can understand nothing.
[sora looks at door and when looks back the guys gone]
Sora: oh right scarred him off.
[change scene]
Narrator: Later that day.
[sora and kairi are sitting on the pier]
Kairi: so how did you get the cops to stop chasing you
Sora: my dear thats story for another day
Kairi: call me that again and ill rip out your tongue
Sora: okay fine. [then in mind {my darling}]
Kairi: did you just think of calling me it.
Sora: no i swear on the life of my clown shoes.
Kairi: ye whatever, lets just take the raft and go now, just the two of us.
Sora: oh hells yea.
Kairi: just kidding,
Sora: oh ye me 2[outloud]. you evil teasing bitch[in mind]
Kairi: see you tommorow fag.
[screen fades]
[disney castle]
[Donald saying into the mike]
Donald: ready to lauch chip and munk.
[just use the clips of the gummi ship lauching to gummi launch theme]
Donald: Blast off
END

KHAS(Kingdom Hearts Abridged Series) ep 1 script

Here is the script for the first episode and i will start work on recording it when i get a microphone.

[opening]

[Sora Waking] Kairi: Wake up you lazy asshole are you hungover again
Sora: woah Kairi its not what it looks like im totally not doing your sister
Kairi: I dont even have a sister
Sora: oh i guess its just in my dreams i can score then?
Kairi: yep and dont you forget it
[enter Riku] Riku: do you guys only talk about sex? here sora touch my wood
[Riku throws log at sora]
Sora: Hey dude ive told you tons of times dont throw/chuck logs at me when im chatting up kairi and dont say that wood thing again, its disturbing
{Flashback}[somehow make the scene black and white/brownish]
Sora:Hey kairi i was just thinking that maybe you might wanna go ou... [log thrown at him]
Riku[as soras saying above]: sora catch this
{another flashback maybe?}
Sora: So kairi wanna share a paopuarggghh... [as log hits him]
Riku[as soras saying above]: ha ha owned
{back to Present}
Riku: oh yea i forgot about that my bad
Kairi: hey why dont you guys race, winner gets to share a paopuu fruit with me
[silence grass hoppers chirping]
Kairi: fine the loser has to watch the entire serie of love hina
Sora&Riku: thats not that bad, yea i like that show
Kairi: DUBBED!!!
Sora: God no, Thats a fate worse than death
[Race]
{title Kingdom hearts abridged}
[Destiny islands]
[Sunset on Tree]
Sora: So We're Building a Wooden Raft too get to other worlds in outer space?
Riku: Thats the Plan
Sora: Man Japan comes up with some wacky ways of getting to space nowadays.
Kairi: Sora that was just stupid, go die in a corner somewhere
Sora:[in mind] I can tell she totally wants me
Kairi: Well im leaving you guys for better friends bye
[Riku hands paopu to]
Riku: here take this and give it too kairi if you want.
Sora: What does it do?
Riku: its what rufees are made out of
Sora(in Mind): Hmmm rape or get her with style
Sora(in Mind): im all about style baby.
[sora throws it away]
Random Guy: Hey whats this it looks good. it sure is goo... {sfx of body hitting floor}
{Disney Castle}
[Donald Walking in throne room]
Donald: Good morning Your highness, here is your...{sees pluto with letter}
Donald: Whats that Scooby?
[Reads Letter and freaks out and then goes to find Goofy]
{Goofy Snoring}
Donald: Goofy Wake up
Goofy[Arnold Schwarzenegar impression(a very bad one at that)]: What is it Donald? i felt a tremour in my muscles While i was Sleeping.
Donald: yea thats great come with me.
[walking to ship]
Donald: Goofy Where did you get that cricket.
Goofy: i found him in my upper muscles.
Jiminy(Cricket): Actually I was sent by queen Minnie when she saw you guys leave so quicly, she told me to make ajournal of our journey
Donald: So your making a diary.
Goofy: that makes him gay right Donald
[both laugh]
Jiminy: Jokes on you guys i can write whatever i want and people wont know if its true or not. Hmn Chapter two. i Caught Donald checking Goofy out
Donald: point taken
(To Be Continued)

Upcoming Kingdom Hearts Abridged Series (KHAS)

When I get a Microphone(Hopefully before OCT) i will start recording my FIRST attempt at abridging. I have already wrote the script for episode 1 and is started writing down ideas for ep 2. i will upload the script of the first ep on here so people can view and see if it would be something worth watching or not.